Et Tu, Benny

It’s so good to be back at 124 W. Main Street. Cat’s Cradle’s adoption center may not be a ‘forever home,’ but the undeniable comforts of a familiar kitty gym, ping pong ball and patches of sunlight lead me, Freddie, to bound from the cat carrier when I returned from the dark grasp of illness. I was all the more eager to see my dear friend…

“Na,na,nananana, Catman!”

No, not ‘Catman.’ Benny, who, despite certain rumors of disloyalty reaching my ailing ears, greeted me most enthusiastically. I hardly even noticed Ethan (who’s name means he-who-moves-in-with-your-best-friend-the-second-you-turn-around) in the background as…

CRASH!!!!!

“Benny! Why, for the love of catnip, did you just jump off our cage and onto the volunteer’s desk? And why do you have a dishtowel tied around your neck?”

“Isn’t it brilliant? Ethan thought of it! I’m Catman and he’s my ward, Kitten Grayson. It’s a publicity stunt.”

“It is not brilliant. First, nothing Ethan does is brilliant. He has the approximate IQ of a concussed canine. Second, who does publicity stunts when the adoption center is closed? And last, a publicity stunt for what?”

“Didn’t you get the e-mail?”

“I didn’t get any e-mail! Maybe Ethan stole it. He steals lots of things.”

“So, you don’t know??”

“Yes. I mean, no. Know what?”

“We’re moving!”

“What??? First, my best friend takes up with some strange kitten. Then they find forever homes together. No one even tells me. Treachery! To think I…”

“Freddie, no, no, no! you know I wouldn’t leave without you! We have a pact! I wouldn’t break it.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

"Then what's all this about moving?”

“It’s the column that’s moving! At the Center with Freddie & Benny will now come out on Tuesdays. Ethan just wants to do some publicity for it because he’s a HUGE fan of your work.”

“He is?”

“Yup.”

“I always said he was a bright one. Come here, kid, let Uncle Freddie help you with that cape. “